I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
