That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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