yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
