Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
