You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize