Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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