it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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