State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
you never un-have a 4some
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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