went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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