He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
