I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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