Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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