I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
