I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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