garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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