He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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