woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
