We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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