I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So much rum. So many feels.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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