Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
