new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
