whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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