Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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