This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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