yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
