Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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