My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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