Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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