she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
