The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
