so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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