You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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