she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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