there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
