Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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