I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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