This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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