My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
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it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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