I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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