My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm sobbing to NWA
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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