I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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