Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
