i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
