Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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