what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
