I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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