All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
