Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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