Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
