you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
