I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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