If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
3 2 1 whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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