But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Text me some of your sweat
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