For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Naked. naked and bneed help.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
