I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
