i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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