oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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