Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
