and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
